Never Work A Day In Your Life: 6 Ways To Land Your Dream Job Regardless Of Experience

It is said that once you find a job that you love, you will never have to work a day in your life. There has never been a statement that has resonated with more truth.

Here are some ways to get a head start if you’re just starting out on the job market or maybe simply looking to find your niche and purpose:

List it

First thing’s first: You must know what you like and don’t like. The first step is knowing yourself inside out. Sit quietly and do some soul searching. What kind of job do you like? Do you like to be in an office environment or out in the field? Do you like working with adults, children, animals or computer work?

Ask yourself what are your strengths and weaknesses and make a list of all your talents, abilities and passions. What would you do if money was not an issue and you did not have to work for a living? How would you spend your time in a meaningful way to help others?

I knew from an early age that I had a fascination with words. I can’t imagine life without the ability to write and pen my thoughts. I did not pursue it right away, but always found a way to channel my talents in the right direction.

Sooner or later, I found my way back to my first love. Although I have not hit the jackpot just yet, writing has exceeded my wildest expectations. I still have hopes of becoming a best-selling author one day.

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Have a game plan

Once you have identified your talent, create some practical goals and work towards them one day at time. As you progress, you can widen your scope and take it up a notch.

For example, if you want to be a chemical engineer, you can work on taking those chemistry classes as early as high school. Volunteer at a lab during your summer vacations, enter competitions and take part in science fairs.

While in college, apply for internships where you can get to practice what you’ve studied. That way, after you graduate, it’s easier to get a job in your field with the hands–on training you’ve acquired while interning. Once you land that job, design a plan that will take you from point A to Z up the career ladder of your dreams.

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Paper the world

Once you have developed a game plan, work on your career skills to get you an interview. Develop a winning résumé by a simple Google search. Whether you are just starting out, or simply want to change jobs, it’s important to market yourself in the right way.

In order to transition fields, you may want to adopt a functional, as opposed to a chronological, résumé; the former highlights all of your similar work experiences together. This is also useful if you have gaps in your employment record.

Visit company websites in your field and subscribe to job alerts. Sign up to employment agencies and participate in career seminars and job fairs at your campus.

Be sure to write a professional and descriptive cover letter that demonstrates your ability and personal attributes, and also sells the recruiter on why you are right for the job.

Think of yourself as a member of the HR department and think about what would make your résumé and cover letter stand out above the rest.

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Look the part

Be sure to invest in a few well-tailored and professional power suits. Dark or neutral colors are best; stay clear from form-fitting, tight, short, shiny or revealing clothes. For the ladies, be sure to keep it simple: well-manicured nails, neat hairstyles and jewelry.

The same goes for the guys minus the jewelry. Cover up all tattoos and piercings. Remember you can only make a first impression once.

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Walk the walk

Make sure you can look the part and talk the talk. Have you ever seen someone who looked very professional, but were mortified when he or she opened his or her mouth? Let this not be you when you walk into the room and the recruiter asks you a question.

Practice role playing with your friends or family. Let them ask you a few interview questions and talk freely about what comes naturally as opposed to rehearsed responses. Practice being calm and talk about what you know.

Be prepared to talk about anything, including your past job experiences, your extra-curricular activities and your ability to work extra hours.

Be courteous and speak standard English at all times. Always remember that no matter what the recruiter says, don’t get too comfortable or mistake kindness for friendship. I’ve seen everything during my years in human resources, and I’ll never forget one candidate who swore at the interview.

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Hone your talents

During your job search and even after you land your dream job, never stop working on you. Whether it’s a short course, an advanced degree or diploma, it will all pay off in the long run, even though you may not appreciate it right now.

If you have a hobby or pastime, develop it. You could also volunteer in your spare time, even if it’s in a soup kitchen or reading to kids at the library.

All in all, it’s your life. Several years down the line, you don’t want to live with regret, thinking of what you should have done if only you had the guts to throw caution to the wind and take a chance on life. There’s no time like the present to do what your heart tells you to do and make it count.

11 ‘Times’ You Need to Stop Making A Big Deal About To Be Happy

Have you ever felt like you’re unhappy and it’s not exactly your fault?

More often than not, somebody said something you don’t agree with or some little thing happen. You start sweating the small stuff. Then you become unhappy.It’s because we think too much. We talk too much. We blow things out of proportion.

We need to stop making a big deal out of things.

The onus is on you. It’s time to take a breather, calm yourself and put things into perspective.

Here are 11 times you need to stop making a big deal about to be happy

1) The time you spent some money

A lot of us make a big deal out of this. And it happens often because we have to pay bills.

Relax. You aren’t going broke or becoming destitute. You have to spend to survive. Money will come back to you in due time anyway.

2) The time you made a mistake

Mistakes are like oxygen. Everybody makes them all the time.

Nobody is perfect and when you put it like that, it’s not a big deal at all, right?

Learn from your mistake. Grow from it and don’t do it again.

3) The time you did something embarrassing

Usually, it’s all in your head. You think you showed the “whole” world how you screwed up and “everybody” is laughing.

Nah. Relax. You’re your worst heckler. Not many saw you at your lowest and not many are laughing.

4) The time you failed in your endeavor

And here you’re your worst critic. It’s only us that remembers all our faults and the losses we made, which are usually exaggerated.

Failure is honestly your best friend. You’ll grow the fastest that way. So keep failing and pick yourself up.

5) The time your mom nagged at you

Your mom loves you. You know that right?

I know. It’s annoying, but it happens. She doesn’t do it out of spite. Just listen, take what you need and be happy.

Don’t go nuts about how you think you come from a problematic family or something.

6) The time your friend commented something that annoyed you

Don’t take it personally! Talk to him or her and clear it out. Don’t let a simple misunderstanding escalate into something that could have been prevented in the first place.

7) The time you had a bad day

It was only one day. Other days are always better right?

8) The time you fought with your partner

Fights usually become fights after emotions get in the way and things keep escalating.

Calm down and be in the right state of mind to solve the situation peacefully.

Then move on. Don’t make a big deal out of it. Don’t bring it up again.

9) The time you wanted to publicly argue on social media

Nobody ever truly wins an argument online. It’s just stupid.

If you ever feel upset over something you read online, let it be. Only little kids see the need to show that they’re the “loudest” on the internet.

10) The time you were shouted at

Nobody ever likes to be shouted at.

You shouldn’t make a big deal about it because, you don’t deserve it.

The people who raise their voices are just plain angry folks who are making a big deal out of it all.

11) The times you thought things were not going well and you were going to lose it all

Well, you’re still still here right?

You didn’t die. And you didn’t lose it all. In fact, I’m willing to bet things turned out better than expected.

It’s So Wrong But Feels So Right: 6 Reasons We Do Things We Know Are Bad For Us

If I may quote the indomitable Kanye West, “Why everything that supposed to be bad, make me feel so good?” While Kanye is known for his, shall we say, unique and unorthodox perspective, it’s not often that he presents us with such an introspective, philosophical query.

Why do we participate in unhealthy activities when we know they do more harm than good?

For example, despite more and more incriminating knowledge about tobacco that we learn each day, US citizens continue to burn those butts. Additionally, in spite of the seemingly endless amounts of information we learn on the hazards of drugs, alcohol and other commonplace vices, so many of us continue to make poor choices.

Now, we all know that to err is human, but what point do bad decisions and ill-advised habits serve when they become harmful to our bodies, souls and minds? Why do we continue to partake in “bad” when we know why and how something hurts us?

Well, there is a handful of explanations, really. Let’s take a stab at dissecting some of the driving forces behind why we do things that we know are bad for us:

1. Peer Pressure

Okay, so our moms and dads taught us all about peer pressure and how the never-ending struggle to fit in isn’t always worth the bad decisions that may come with it. But, let’s be real, here: We’ve all succumbed to peer pressure at some point or another and it’s only natural to wish to appease those around us in an attempt to fit in.

Whether it’s underage drinking, taking a hit from that joint a friend just passed you, or something more psychologically harmful, like adopting a prejudiced school of thought or participating in the reputation-bashing of somebody deemed “uncool” by our peers, we all want to be accepted.

We all want to fit in. Sometimes, this leads us to make bad decisions that we may or may not pay for in the end. Regardless, peer pressure is no joke and its influence can sway individuals and entire communities alike.

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2. Habit

Sometimes, force of habit can be damn near impossible to break. Just ask any smoker what the hardest part about quitting is and he or she will most likely tell you that it’s breaking the habit of having a cigarette during a certain activity.

I know smokers who simply have to smoke a cigarette after a meal, on long drives or when they’re drinking. Some say it takes 21 days to make or break a habit. Well, day one has to start some time, right?

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3. Conditioning

So many of us are conditioned to think or feel a certain way that we have no idea we may be just a cog in a machine, endlessly churning out whatever product we’ve been trained to create. Habits can be hard to break, but conditioning can be flat-out dangerous and seemingly impossible to alter.

Once you’ve done something for so long or have been a part of an environment so consistently, there is a chance that you may never open your eyes to an obvious truth or break the cycle to which you’ve become so accustomed. Sometimes, it’s just how we’re raised.

Often, we become conditioned to think, feel and act certain ways, due to the result of an impactful event in our past. It’s always important to take a step back and withdraw from one’s life from time to time. Think for yourself and walk your own path, always.

Before you know it, it may just be too late to change.

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4. Denial

This is tough one. Have you ever known someone who continuously makes bad decisions, yet refuses to admit he or she has a problem? Sure, we all have.

Denial can be dangerous in any dose. Sometimes, it takes others to intervene in order to help someone realize he or she may be headed down a slippery slope. Regular self-assessment is key for avoiding denial. How do your actions affect you and those around you?

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5. Misinformation Or Lack Of Education

Think about this little tidbit of truth for a moment: From the 1930s to the 1950s, people actually thought cigarettes were good for you. Cigarette companies like Lucky Strike would send doctors cartons of free smokes in exchange for the go-ahead on “physician-approved” tobacco advertisements.

Also, you know how millions of people drink “diet” sodas because they have less sugar and are fat free? Now we’ve learned that artificial sweeteners may lead to cancer. Knowledge is power and power is healthy.

Sometimes, it’s hard to make certain decisions in good faith when we don’t know all of the facts or if we are simply misinformed. What we perceive as good, or better, may actually turn out to be the polar opposite.

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6. Bad Feels Good

You simply can’t deny it. Kanye said it right. (How often is that statement muttered?) Sometimes, bad just feels so good. We’ve all been there. Your ex sends you a midnight text to come over and play, complete with a winky face and other suggestive emojis.

You know your ex is bad for you, but you convince yourself otherwise. You eat that bowl of ice cream and tell yourself it’s low fat, so you’re in the clear, even though the calorie-count you just ignored offers opposing information.

Hey, what’s the harm in another all-night bender with your closest friends even though last time, you woke up facedown in the middle of a Wal-Mart parking lot, with a splitting headache and an alarming lack of pants?

Sometimes, things just feel good when you’re in the moment. It isn’t until you’re paying the consequences later on that you begin to have doubts.

All things considered, bad decisions can be very good for us. They help us learn from our mistakes and they become the driving force behind long overdue changes for the better. Or, they are simply fun as hell, so you try to do them in moderation.

It’s hard to condemn someone for doing something wrong, despite the fact that they know it’s ill advised because, frankly, we’ve all been there. Just be sure to grow from those naughty deeds and try to become a better person in the future.

Anyway, I have to go now. My abusive ex-girlfriend is texting me and she hates when I take too long to text back.

8 Ways To Get Your Act Together Between Graduation And Your First Job

After graduating from university, I experienced post-college unemployment and was desperate to the point where I was applying to candy stores and mall kiosks.

It was a definite low point for a girl who had graduated early, excelled in class and assumed that the adult world would warmly welcome her into its arms.

I had $45,000 taped to my wall in the form of a piece of paper with a couple of signatures, hopelessness in my heart and uncertain feelings about my future.

Looking back, I realize that although it was a tough time, I could have handled parts of the experience differently to help minimize my stress, and the stress I transferred to those around me.

Here are eight ways to handle stress when transitioning from college to a full-time career:

This Too Shall Pass

You might begin to believe that joblessness may last forever. Forever is a long time, and I’m fairly certain that Crisco may be the only thing that lasts forever, and even that probably has an expiration date.

Keep in mind that this too shall pass. It’s just a season of your life that you need to embrace as opposed to wallow in, and a season that will strengthen you for future challenges.

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Don’t Get Stuck

There is a tendency to become stuck, lost in the frustration or mundane time wasting activities. I know you watched the entire season of the latest hottest TV show, which, if you are a writer or aspiring actor, may be beneficial, but for the majority of us, those hours spent are hours lost.

It’s important to stay productive during this time of your life. Find a way to maintain structure to your day, and don’t let yourself fall into a rut. Maybe your job search isn’t successful because you need to develop a new tactic.

Shake things up by traveling, or simply spending an afternoon catching up with a friend.

Believe that someone, somewhere will hire you.

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Stop Being So Picky

Until you meet that someone who wants to hire you, stop being so picky. I know you are waiting for your dream job, but honestly it’s not waiting for you.

You have to be tenacious, and sometimes those traits exhibit themselves in the form of taking on smaller jobs. If a retail store or restaurant is the only place that called you back, work there. Make deposits into your bank account, and keep looking for the job that you received training for, or the job you really want.

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Don’t Become Too Comfortable

Many people don’t ever land their dream job because they become all too comfortable with their “Almost Dream Job.” There are so many excuses as to why people don’t do what they love: money, time, ease of work, vacation, etc.

I understand that it’s an incredible challenge leaving an environment that is easy and known, and step into something that stretches you, but the magic happens when you jump out of your comfort zone.

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Build Your Skills

Someone, somewhere will hire you, and you have to trust that. While you are trusting, use your time wisely to become more of the person the boss will want to hire.

Do you want to be a writer?  Take writing classes, or join a writing group. Learn a new hobby or language. Take on work with people by getting a job at hotel.  Continue to go to interviews because like anything else, interviewing is a skill.

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There Is Hope

You are not a failure. You are still smart, talented and marketable. Keep believing in your abilities and the future, maintain a hopeful attitude and tell yourself every day that your future is bright.

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Be Thankful

I understand how frustrating feeling useless is, but that feeling isn’t moving you forward. Instead, choose the feeling of gratefulness.

Take 90 seconds every morning to clear your mind of the worries that plague you. Many people have it so much worse than you, so take the time to find perspective.

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Hold Your Dream Close

You will find that the journey to your dream job will not be simple, easy or comfortable. Regardless of what people believe, what life looks like currently or who wants to dim your positive energy, hold your dream close.

Protect it, cherish it and nurture it, and that dream will carry you along when you are too weak to carry yourself.

Is Pain Real or Is It All In Your Head? Neuroscience Explains

Is Pain Real or Is It All In Your Head? Neuroscience Explains  

 “Pain feels like a fast stab wound to the heart. But then healing feels like the wind against your face when you are spreading your wings and flying through the air. We may not have wings growing out of our backs, but healing is the closest thing that will give us that wind against our faces.”
 ~C. Joybell

Do you remember growing up, going to the doctor’s office to get a vaccine shot —only to be crippled by the thought of having a sharp needle stuck in you? But for some strange reason, when your doctor took your attention off of the shot and onto whatever they were saying; the pain of the needle became unnoticeable. Now did the pain magically go away with your doctor’s kind words or is it that pain goes beyond just the physical sensation attached to it? Neuroscience is illustrating for the world, that perhaps pain is more bio-psychological than we had previously thought. In fact, pain is more in your head than you ever realized.

The Different Types of Pain Explained 

We first need to understand that there are different types of pain and how we perceive them is varied as well. For example, there is a difference between tissue-damage pain and the pain associated with a broken heart. Both feel just as intense as the other, the major difference is the origin of the pain and how your neurons interpret the pain associated with the stimulus.
Edwin S. Shneidman PhD, founder of the American Association of Suicidology, explains that the majority of pain, even physical pain has its roots in the body’s need for help. Dr. Shneidman goes on to say that the sensation of pain is a combination of physiological processes and psychological needs. Needs such as the need for love, freedom, achievement or even the need to avoid embarrassment, shame, and harm. 

Another element that contributes to how you feel pain and the reason we all experience it slightly differently, is which needs take priority within our personal lives. Harvard University Psychologist Henry Murray enlightened the psychological community by explaining that there are no concrete forms expressing the caliber of someone’s pain. The only legitimate method is by gauging someone’s reactions to pain and what they have to say about what they are feeling. Henry Murray goes on to say that this phenomenon occurs because each one of us rates our psychological needs differently. Meaning, what is the most important need for me (emotional need) may not be the most important need for you (financial need), thus the reason in differing levels of pain. 

Another factor that plays into how you perceive pain is your childhood and the experiences of pain as a child. Think about it, if you had never experienced pain before, you would be devastated the first time you broke a bone because you wouldn’t have the gained wisdom on how to deal with said pain. The same happens if a child is exposed to pain consistently and then reinforced by a negative emotion. This leads to two different types of pain sensitizations. Peripheral Sensitization

This type of pain sensitivity has to deal with the inflammation or damage to your bodily tissue. For example, when you get a cut on your finger, you are experiencing peripheral sensitization. During this process, there is a change in the transduction proteins, which are the carriers of messages that affect the nociceptors, or the receptors of your body’s sensory neurons. When you burn your finger, the stimulus is transformed into electrical signals which are then carried throughout your nervous system and up to your brain via these proteins.

Central Sensitization 

During this type of pain something different happens in people: instead of originating from
bodily harm, this pain can manifest itself without tissue damage. What happens is that the neurons in your central nervous system become excited more easily —resulting in feeling pain for much longer periods of time and much more easily. The pain that would normally subside after the initial stimulus still lingers around, eventually leading to chronic pain.

 The Mind-Body Connection To Pain 

Many doctors believe that disorders such as Fibromyalgia; where the patient has nothing physiologically wrong with them, can be tied back to central sensitization. I spoke with the former President of the Austin Pain Society, Dr. Brannon Frank, in order to better understand the mind and pain connection. After several discussions about single-case patients, Dr. Frank explained to me that the majority of his patients that come complaining of chronic stress usually begins with a life story. Whereas athletes and other patients who have recently suffered tissue damage can immediately pinpoint the exact origin of pain and typically explain the situation behind the accident. Fibromyalgia patients and others suffering from chronic pain paint a picture of great emotional distress.  Dr. Frank goes on to tell me that more often than not, the patients suffering from severe chronic pain, tell the story of their lives where they recently divorced, lost a loved one, or are undergoing severe depression.

This is a real life example of how pain is not just in the body, but in the mind of the beholder. So the next time you find yourself battling chronic pain or a bad back, before you run to your physical therapist — take a long and hard look at your life. Are you suffering from the loss of something valuable in your life or are you genuinely physically hurt? The answer won’t be easy or completely obvious, but I can tell you this much, how you react to the pain makes all the difference. It truly, may be all in your head.

To Learn More About Pain (References)

1. Journal of The American Physical Therapy Association: http://ptjournal.apta.org/content/91/5/700.long
2. US National Library of Medicine: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/7702468
3. US National Library of Medicine: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9188037
4. Karen Byfield | Mental Health Advocate (original publication)

8 Ways To Start Listening To Your Own Advice

Last week, I blew a thousand bucks to consult a guy to take my business to the next level. That was a thousand bucks for an hour of his time.

I initially went in the call with the mindset of asking for specific strategies and tactics to promote my blog, but instead, it turned into a philosophical hour where he taught me how to become a better writer.

And you know what?

Most of the insights he gave me were things I already knew, things I had done before and things I know I have deep down inside of me.

Ever felt had that “duh” moment where you tell yourself, “I should have just listened to myself!”?

Hindsight is definitely always 20/20

You know how it is.

The answer was right under your nose all along.

You could have done it all on Day 1, but for some unknown reason, you didn’t.

That’s how annoying, torturing even it can be when you don’t listen to your own advice.

I think that we all don’t listen to ourselves because we’re simply too distracted. And then we forget that we’re our best teacher.

Well it’s time to start remembering.

Here are 8 ways to start listening to your own advice

1) Remember that your experience and memories will never lie

There’s just way too much information in this world as people and different institutions try to force feed their truth to you. It can be pretty overwhelming.

To quell the confusion, listen to your experience. Think back to your memories.

Don’t ever doubt them because they’ll never lie to you. You lived them after all.

You saw, you believe and you took it in. It’s not going anywhere. So don’t replace them with ANYTHING else.

2) Reject anything that doesn’t apply to you

This may sound obvious, but it’s actually pretty tricky.

When we want help or advice, we tend to listen to everybody or learn as much as we can. We think that it’s a case of “the more the better.”

This is not entirely true as you may not be ready to take it in yet or it just isn’t something you feel is right for you.

Hence, you need to reject anything you don’t feel for, even if it’s supposedly going to help you.

Take me for example. I spent a thousand bucks on that call, but after a week or so, I found myself rejecting little bits and pieces he gave me. I know it can be put to greater use another time.

3) Be uncomfortable and apply

So maybe you feel a little insecure about wanting to try something out. You’ve done your studying, but now it’s time for the test.

It’s normal to feel a little uncomfortable. That’s why people advocate getting out of your comfort zone.

More importantly, the feeling of discomfort doesn’t mean you’re wrong. It just means you lack experience and it’s a sign to just go through with it!

It’s okay. Listen to yourself and focus on the goal. Then apply.

4) Don’t repeat the same mistake i.e. if you want different results, do something different

It’s the folly of all human beings: To repeat a mistake.

I believe that your own, best and true advice is something you know deep down; something you know is good for you.

So if you want to listen to your own advice, then listen to that little voice, the one that makes you a little uncomfortable, but you know is good for you.

Give that little voice some limelight. The other noise can wait.

5) Stand up for yourself 

There’re always critics and haters around. They’re trying to drown out your own voice.

Stop listening to them. Stand up for yourself and show to them that you’re your own person.

Standing up for yourself is the first step in listening to yourself as it is the milestone you need to prove to yourself that you believe in your ideas and not others’.

I find that a lot of us give in too easily (because we want to appear nice) and then beat ourselves up later on for not listening to ourselves.

Again, you’ve to feel the discomfort and stand your ground. It’s the make or break moment!

6) Go back to your heart

During the call, the guy went through my blog and felt I have been writing what is expected out of me and not what I really wanted. And he’s right.

I showed him an old piece I wrote back in 2011 and told him that was my first, uncomfortable article.

And he said it was by far the best he read.

So you see, sometimes we’re constantly distracted by the world in trying to do what’s expected to attain a certain kind of result. That basically means following the rules.

Rules are okay, but remember that they’re nothing but guides. If you want to produce your best work ever, go back to your heart then. That’s where your own, real advice are at.

7) Be in good company

Surround yourself with positive people, those who’d encourage you and want you to be your best.

We’re only human and from time to time, we look to others for advice, especially in trying to validate our own.

If you’re in the right company, they’d give you a balanced view and encourage you to act upon what you believe in. If you’re not, they’d be ready to shoot it down.

That’s how powerful your environment is. It can make and break not just your own advice, but also your values, principles and beliefs.

8) Embrace the entire process

Now if you noticed, everything I’ve said so far is a process of building up confidence to listen to your own advice.

You go back to your heart. What you feel most always works best for you in the grand scheme of things.

You stand your ground, ignore your naysayers and listen to your own experience. Make no apologies for that.

When it comes to applying your advice, feel the discomfort, don’t be scared and just do it.

Along the way, do yourself a favor and only stick to positive people who watch out for you. But hey, that doesn’t mean you can’t reject some of the things they say.